As we are bombarded by the trappings of Valentine’s Day—glittery hearts, hovering cupids, and romantic messaging—it’s easy to focus solely on romantic love. While the holiday traditionally centers on romance, its deeper theme of togetherness offers an important reminder about the power of human connection.
Humans (and other mammals, for that matter) are hardwired for connection. When social interaction is lacking, anxiety increases, and cognition can suffer. Over time, isolation can weaken the immune system and increase the risk of cardiovascular disease and certain cancers. Meaningful connection quite literally keeps us healthier. Social interactions increase levels of dopamine, which supports motivation; serotonin, which helps regulate mood and decision-making; and oxytocin, which strengthens bonding and trust.
And yet, in recovery, many people find themselves isolated. Shame, guilt, and fear often convince us to pull away just when connection is most needed. Recovery is about so much more than simply not using substances—it’s about rebuilding healthy, life-giving connections. We crave connection because it helps us feel whole.
If we look at the Hierarchy of Needs, love and belonging sit just above basic survival and safety. Connection is not a luxury—it is a necessity. When shame and fear keep us isolated, we deprive ourselves of a fundamental part of healing. I often hear people say, “I should be able to do this on my own.” My response is always the same: Why? Why should you have to do this alone? And perhaps more importantly—why should you be expected to?
There are many benefits to seeking additional support in recovery, and connection is one of the most powerful tools. Sitting in a room with others who have faced similar struggles, hearing pieces of your own story reflected in theirs, or feeling a simple pat on the shoulder from someone who has walked a similar path—these experiences carry a depth that cannot be fully captured in words. Connection reminds us that we are not broken or alone.
In recovery, it’s easy to believe that no one else feels the way we do. But when we seek support—by attending a mutual support meeting, reaching out to a family member or friend, or engaging in treatment—we often discover the opposite. We find reminders that others have walked this path before us, and that we do not have to walk it alone.
In active addiction, the need for substances often overrides the rest of our hierarchy of needs. When we begin recovery, we must intentionally replenish what has been neglected: shelter, nourishment, safety, and connection. Often, this means forming new connections. Walking into a room full of unfamiliar faces can feel intimidating and overwhelming. But with each step, it gets easier. And with each connection, another piece of healing takes root.
Recovery does not happen in isolation. Healing happens in connections.
